Tuesday, August 26, 2014

DAZED AND CONFUSED

First off, congratulations to the first OPPA BLOG giveaway winner— Ciara! As the winner, she got to pick any CD of her choice. She decided to get HA:TFELT’s EP, so I got a signed copy of that for her along with a small package of goodies from around Seoul. Some of my favourite things from brands/stores here and some things Ciara mentioned that she would enjoy. Hopefully when she receives the package in the near future she'll enjoy it as much I did making it.

Preview of the giveaway package for Ciara 

So, what has happened since the last time I updated?


Nana came and visited but we didn't get any work done cause she actually has a social life here and had her own fun adventures during her stay here… so much for saying I'd be productive hahaha. 



Illustration by Senka
The lovely Senka did some illustration work for me and will continue to do some for OPPA BLOG in the future! I am super super super excited, and honored that she’s offered to lend her wonderful talent to help. I am also recruiting a few other friends to possibly do some stuff with me for OPPA BLOG, including portrait illustrations of the wonderful oppa friends, fun (even maybe informational?) videos, and things . Keep an eye out for that! I'm actually really excited for all these possible collaborations, especially since they're with friends who I really admire and love on every possible level.

I've been hanging out with my friend Hyang a lot lately to get my mind straight. I have a lot of friends I ask to keep me in check/accountable to update this blog and to make OPPA BLOG happen and for the most part, everyone is busy with their own lives and we all forget after a few days but Hyang always seems to ask me every week if I'm doing things for OPPA BLOG or asks to meet so she can help (her penmanship in Korea is way better than mine— I apparently write like a dude). Basically, I'm super thankful for her. But if anyone else wants to join the "make sure Genie is on track/keep her in line/accountable for things" please do join. The more the better! But anyways, we've been doing things like instax photo sessions, making OPPA BLOG Q&A templates, scouting out places/people, as well as things to get me motivated and keeping me on track. I don't know if it's completely working… but it's better than just being in my own weird headspace.

But I always say I'm going to update more and then… I don't…

There is no real excuse for it to be honest. More than anything lately I just am… in a weird headspace (more so than usual). I'm so unmotivated by life in general. Which sounds depressing, and is depressing. Like, living here for the past three years has been such a struggle, mostly internally — moving across the world, living in a new environment, and just adapting to a different culture than what I grew up in. On top of that, making new friends,  a new social circle, things like that — it's all very much like being born again.

To an extent, I never really wanted to admit that this whole process, that this whole sense of growing up again is just… hard. And at times just not fun. But you know, over time and through new experiences, I’m learning a lot about myself. I don't regret my decision to move here. Despite living here often being difficult, it never felt wrong moving here, nor does it feel wrong now, even with all the bad shit that’s happened.




I think that's the biggest reason why I haven't just thrown my hands up and hopped on a plane and run back to the States. Because I feel like I have yet to do what I want to do here (what I need to do here) I've always had big dreams for myself. I shouldn't waste them by just letting them be dreams.

At times I find myself wishing I could catch some kind of break at some point… but I have remember the world owes me nothing, and I have to strive for better things.


(All all easier said than done…!)



Movie date nights with Hyang & OPPA BLOG brainstorm session.
I have so many friends in the same boat as me — and I’ve seen them push through all the struggles, never giving up. It's such a great reminder that, I am not alone and I have awesome friends. It's just really inspiring. Plus, as much as I wish for them, and cheer them on for great things with their dreams — I know they're doing the same for me. I'm glad I can lean on them for support… despite feeling alone at times, it's good to know I'm not actually alone.

There is this great quote by Henry Rollins (Black Flag) that I've been reminded of and I think if I remind myself to live by these words, it'll all be a bit easier.

"If you have an idea of what you want to do in your future, you must go at it with almost monastic obsession, be it music, the ballet or just a basic degree. You have to go at it single-mindedly and let nothing get in your way."

Everyone, please send me all the good vibes and positive thoughts you can. I really need it. I need to stop being so bummed out by my own life.


I hope you guys are all doing well!!! I also recently got Netflix-- it's simultaneously, the worst and best decision I ever made (I don't know why I choose to watch Criminal Minds in the dark).


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